We are wired to focus on the negative.
The negativity effect, also known as negativity bias, is the idea that things that are considered negative (e.g. unpleasant emotions, events, thoughts, social interactions) have a bigger impact on our mental state than positive or neutral things.This is true even when the intensity of the things are the same.
This means that positive things generally have a lesser impact on us than a negative things that are equal in emotional intensity.
The reason we are wired this way is that it helped our ancestors to avoid threats. There was risk in focusing on positive events because this meant possibly not noticing threats. Basically, negative bias is a way to assure we don’t become complacent and unable to avoid danger.
Focusing on the negative impacts our mindset. In modern times, life-threatening events may be rare, however our wiring hasn’t caught up. This, unfortunately, can take a toll on our mental states. Simply stated, when we focus on the negative, we feel bad.
The good news is that we can make a shift to a positive mindset. When you are feeling less than optimal, there are ways you can shift into a better feeling state.
Here are 3 ways to develop a positive mindset:
1. Know, and remember, that everything passes. Everything, including our own lives, is temporary. If you think about something that bothered you last week, it’s likely that you barely remember it today. Even our moods change many times during the day. You can develop your awareness of this truth.
Here’s how:
Write down how you feel at several points during the day. Knowing that your mood changes constantly, even without any noticeable reason, may help you to remain aware that everything eventually passes. Knowing this may provide relief.
2. Practice acts of kindness. There is science behind kindness, and it’s all in the brain. Much of the research behind why acts of kindness make us feel better suggests that they give our brain a boost of oxytocin. Also known as the ‘love hormone’, oxytocin is the hormone that make us feel friendlier, more bonded with others, and boosts our mood. Acts of kindness can be simple.
Here are some ideas:
Call a friend just to say hello
Give a small gift or token of appreciation to a co-worker
Hold the door open for a stranger
Write a thank you note
Drop some coins in an expired parking meter
3. Be grateful. Research shows that gratitude is strongly associated with greater happiness. Not only does it help us feel more positive, but it also improves our relationships and health.
You can develop your ability to practice gratitude. Here’s how:
A simple gratitude practice is to write down three things you are grateful for each day. Keep this in a special journal, and every once in a while review your past entries. This will help train your mind to focus on what is positive in your life.
Want to learn more? Contact us today for a free consultation!
– Lynne
Founder, Mindset Mental Coaching
